


Atheists in Foxholes

by Caracalliope



Series: Wartime/Post-war moments (with porn!) [2]
Category: Homestuck
Genre: A Practical Approach to Divinity, Alternate Universe - War, Future Fic, Gen, Grief/Mourning, Interview with the Narrator, Loyalty, Not Canon Compliant - The Homestuck Epilogues, The Homestuck Epilogues: Candy, War, but it is inspired by:
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-09-12
Updated: 2020-09-12
Packaged: 2021-03-06 15:07:11
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 612
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26430886
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Caracalliope/pseuds/Caracalliope
Summary: You're not the Revolt's PR guy - fuck, you don't even have a blog anymore. But sometimes there are orange questions in your head, and you pretend Dirk is still around and do your best to explain why you're fighting like this.
Series: Wartime/Post-war moments (with porn!) [2]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1919788
Comments: 2
Kudos: 8





	Atheists in Foxholes

> In agony, nature is no atheist. The soul is drawn to God by a sort of natural impulse; not always, perhaps, by an emotion of piety; but from a feeling conviction, that every other refuge is ‘a refuge of lies’. Oh! thou afflicted, tossed with tempests, and not comforted, happy if thou art either drawn or driven, with holy David, to say to thy God, ‘Thou art a place to hide me in.’  
>  **Stacie to Chelsea, _Barbie & Her Sisters in a Pony Tale (2013)_**

  
Dave: Be the God of Time. Nah, thanks. You’re too busy to be the God of Time. This is a war, bro, and you’re hunkering down and keeping it real. You’re bandaging trolls too tired to act tough. You’re strategizing with Rose and Kanaya, transporting refugees with June and Jade, and fighting at Karkat’s left hand. Two bros, not five feet apart anymore - you’re just in the general leftwise area when the battles start, is the point. When the battles end, you’re wherever you’ve got to be. You’re not great at burials, it’s just not your scene, but you help the afterparties go down without anyone skewering anyone else out of that weird combination of horny, drunk, and grieving. You’re kind of like the trolls’ human mascot, useless compared to Rose and Jade and June, but good at cutting through tension. Karkat says you’re good for morale, and he refuses to take suggestions about other ways you could boost morale. Hands-on, pants-off, that’s where you’re at right now as a person, but your commander says he’s not that desperate yet.  
  
There are better worlds for you out there. Obviously. Every time you lose a troll you knew, or someone who was scared - or a kid - every time someone dies, on your side or the other one, you think about how easy it would be to abscond sideways into a dimension where they’re still alive.  
  
Why don’t you? You’re not beholden to any reality apart from that which is Ultimate. Because fuck that, is why. Maybe you want to be beholden. You want time to be an arrow, not a boomerang. Maybe you’re tired of thinking, in the back of your mind, that the trolls and carapacians and humans living and dying around you are replaceable.  
  
Would you feel differently if Karkat was the one who died? Moot question because your heroic ass is dying first. June can write your theme song-slash-requiem, an ode to a fallen fool. You left instructions for Jade to taxidermy you and complete your ascension to mascot tier. Rose can knit a cute lil vest for you to wear, and the trolls can rub your head for luck.  
  
That’s an optimistic thought, for someone who has given up on hope for finding a better world. With no offense to President Obama, whose autograph you still want, you’re not sure you’re into Hope at this point. Like, you’re still the Time guy. Only difference is, you’re mother. fucking. ENTRENCHED. in this bitch of a world, and you have been since Dirk died.  
  
If Dirk were here right now, he wouldn't want you to surrender your power. He's not here, though, and you're okay with that. Not 0kay, but okay as in like - he’s not here, and you are, so you’re the guy who has the power in this particular reality. And if power means anything at all, it means you can choose what to be a part of. With no offense to dead Daves, whose bloodless faces will never leave you, you don't want to be more of a god or more of yourself. What you want is to be here and to be now.


End file.
